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"The anxious threat I got that I'm gay"

Fiona Falkinner is not alien to the concept of transformation. In 2006 Falkiner was a contestant at The Biggest Loser and hoped that losing weight would make her happy. But after the big success of the show, she found herself in deep depression. Here, in the news.com.au column, she talks about life before, during and after the actual TV show.


I really hate the labels.

Do not misunderstand me, I will always celebrate the LGBTQI + community, but I just do not identify myself as one of them. I just love someone about who they are, not about their sex.

Unfortunately, this is not considered as an answer when they often ask me "What are you?", Concerning my sexuality.

There is so much confusion that happens in your head as you try to understand what you are and feel a lot of this confusion because we feel obliged to give ourselves a label.

I have even noticed in conversations with my family and friends always focusing on what you are sexual, but you can not always focus on love and the unique human relationship you have found with your chosen partner.

RELATED: Column Fifth: The moment Fiona realized she was gay

RELATED: Column Four: "How a psyche turned my world upside down"

RELATED: Column Three: "What Happens In The Biggest Lost House"

I can not tell you how many times I have been asked "how girls do sex?" Or "who is the boy and who is the girl?"

I usually laugh, but I deeply insults me. It is in these moments that I realize how far we should go into accepting people for who they are.

I am happy that I live in a society that is growing and taking enormous steps forward towards acceptance. Still, there are still many places that still have a long way to go.

While I was on holiday in Spain last year, I went to the beach every day, reserving the same lounger for the week. I have to recognize the boys who are trying to sell all the fake bags to tourists on the beach. I was friendly but always politely refused when they approached to try to sell me something, but on the last day one of the boys started to drive me and asked, "Where is your boyfriend?"

I said, "I left my girlfriend home," and at that moment his body language changed, and he looked at me with such hatred in his eyes and said, "In my country, we're killing you."

He told me that "a woman and a woman in Nigeria, where I'm from you, kill you, that's wrong," so far I was so shaken by his comments that I started to gather and go but he went straight to a group of his friends who smoke and take a break and start talking loudly about the gesture to me.

That was for me, I was horrified, grabbed my cloth and my purse and actually fled. I had another night alone in Spain and tell you what I was afraid to leave my apartment.

I feel lucky to live in Australia, because here, when I'm with my partner, we do not get tortured on the street, I've never been a gay gang.

I do not know if I'm naive, but before I had my first meeting with Haley, it never occurred to me that we would find ourselves in an awkward situation where we are treated differently because we are just as we are.

In the magical night that I first saw Hayley, we thought meeting in a bar in the city would be a great idea. We have been chatting online for a while since I was abroad, so when the night I had to meet, I was excited and nervous.

I was early (I'm always because I'm afraid to be late), but that gave me a chance to find a quiet table at the corner of the bar and order a drink to soothe the nerves.

When she arrived, her smile lit the room, and I knew the dinner was great. The date was so good that I was laughing, she laughed and the conversation was flowing. I apologize to use the ladies room I went back to find two men in costumes talking to Haley. Now, Haley is very polite and friendly, so when she approached her, she allowed a few conversations until she came back.

I sat down at the table and smiled as they continued talking to us before I tried to finish the conversation, saying: "The big guys in the chat, a great night."

I wanted to keep on knowing Hailey. Unfortunately, they did not hint, so politely I said, "I'm sorry, guys, but we're actually meeting, and I'd like to go back to him if you do not mind."

At the moment the word "date" left my mouth, I immediately regretted it because it led to an outburst of extremely inappropriate comments and questions from the boys.

I will not reveal what I said, but we were actually forced to feel like objects of charm. It was so bad that we finally left. While we were leaving, the waitress came to ask if the boys were worried, but at that point it was too late and we just wanted to get out of there.

I was on many dates in my life, but when I was dating a man, I never felt anything like it.

When I peek and take my bride's hand in public, it's not because I'm trying to show someone because I'm loving and I've been with all my partners. This makes me sad when I hold Haley's hand that people often stop and watch, they point out and sometimes even turn to get a second look. I can not imagine what it would be like to have lived through it all my life. As I say this, there are many people who do not look and point – to each of you, thank you.

I understand there are much bigger problems in this world people are dealing with, but that does not mean that I feel that being labeled is not worthy of discussion. In some ways, disclosing this may help people understand how their actions can affect another person and make them think twice about how they work around someone who is not "the same" as they are.

I feel that the best way to overcome these barriers and rescue labels is to refuse to agree entirely.

So if you are like me who does not like being labeled and find that someone asks you what sexuality you are, just answer them: "I am a person and I choose to love everyone I love."

Because at the end of the day we're all human. We all look the same from within – so everyone has to deal with each other from the outside!

Fiona Falkiner is a leading and former Biggest Loser model. Follow your trip to Instagram @fionafalkiner. You can read the column from last week here.

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