She became a drug addict at the age of 14, after her alcoholic mother gave her drugs – saying they were "sherbet".
And out of 28, with three failed marriages and years of drug abuse behind her, Kerry Katona was suicidal, The Sun reported.
Only the thought of her five children – Molly, Lily, Hiide, Maxwell, and Dillon-Jorge – pulled her off the edge.
Carrie, 38, who was at the end of the 90's with a girl from the Atomic Kitten group, says she has been using cocaine for years as a crutch to help her with psychological problems and personal problems, but that only makes things worse, news.com . Auto reports.
"I call it diabolical dander because it's toxic, it manipulates, it gives a false sense of security, it's not really for you, it ruins you," she says.
"It's an escape, taking coke is better than crashing into the worst thing that's going on in your life." You are constantly pursuing this noise and do not want to go down. The blows are terrible.
"After taking drugs, I had seizures. My eyes will retreat and I will foam my mouth. I could die, I could choke from my own tongue, my own saliva.
After years of drug abuse, even Kerry is shocked to be still alive and realizes she is one of the lucky ones.
It's tragic that it's too late for her ex-husband, George Kay, 39, who was found dead on the weekend after suspicion of cocaine overdose – just days after Kerry gave the interview a passionate warning about the cocaine dangers.
Devastated Carey – who shares his daughter, Dillon, 5, with George – now supports George's family and has visited his body in the morgue.
George suffered from mental health problems, including anxiety and depression, and now Kerry is more desperate than ever to warn people about cocaine.
She explains how her own drug addiction starts at the age of 14 when the strongest thing most kids would try is a cigarette.
"My mother was a lesbian at the time, and she was with her girlfriend in this pub and had this bag of white powder," Katona said.
She said, "It's a Sherbet," dip your finger in the bag and put it in my mouth.
"I went back and sat down with my mother and everyone was dead happy and I had this massive influx of adrenaline – I thought this is what people have to do.
"Every weekend, then I did cocaine, I just thought that's all that everyone does.
"He'll save his pocket money from his foster parents and get a cocaine bag. In fact, I thought people who did not make drugs were snobs.
The use of cocaine among young people in the UK is increasing, with 20% of 16-24 year olds having used it in the past year.
Like the British stars on the love island of Mike Thalassitis and Sophie the City have had cocaine and alcohol in their systems when they took their lives.
Carey continued to take cocaine during her days at the Atomic Kitten – using it to help with some glory, but managed to clear up after her marriage to Westlife star Brian McFadden in 2002, moving to Ireland with two children Molly and Lily.
However, their marriage failed in 2004 and Brian went to a meeting with Australian singer Delta Goodrem after their divorce.
Carey had a nervous breakdown and finished with cocaine.
"I felt suicidal, I felt dirty, I had no friends, I was constantly in another world," she says.
"When I finally realized what a habit I had, I had to fight him.
Against all odds, Kerry managed to clear himself ten years ago.
She says she hit the bottom, sitting in a parking lot with her mother, making cocaine lines.
"I wanted to stop doing that now, I do not want it, I want to get out of my skin," says Carey.
Before going to Arizona's clinic, she dropped into a fitness boot with her mother and has since been clean.
"My greatest achievement, apart from my children, is the fact that I turned to my life," says Kerry.
But while she was lucky enough to escape her addiction, she saw how other young well-known people might not be so happy.
She explains that celebrities often end up taking cocaine while being paid for private nightclub appearances – so they can stay awake all night and have fun with people who have come to see them.
"When I was in the atomic cat, all of us were offering drugs all the time," she says.
"When you are new to the circle, you think," Oh, well, I want to be like these other celebrities who are going down from their heads. "
"Everyone is trying to make a quick, quick pound of them and they are recorded for as many as possible (public appearances).
– At those events that you constantly drink and eventually turn to coca-cola or whatever medicine, you need to keep a little in the game and make sure you can stay all night because that's what people expect from you.
But Kerry warns that once cocaine is in its paws, it's often not going back.
She says she would take so much bones that she would spread out in her mouth and be reconciled and start again.
"Then I would get back up after feeling like I was born again, it was an incredible feeling, I would get back and have another line," she says.
After ten years in Arizona, Kerry received tattoos to stop suicide.
"When I went to Arizona to recover when Bryan left me when they asked me about my childhood. When I was talking about my childhood, I said it as if it were written in a script and I would joke because it was a protected mechanism. ," she says.
"But in rehabilitation, they really weaken the layers back and they have become really deep and really concern me."
Carey says her first memory is that her mother is trying to commit suicide when she was three years old – something that continues for the entire Carey childhood.
"When I learned mental health, I even went to Oxford University, not to study as a guest, and we did a little research on whether it was DNA, whether it was a learned behavior or a genetics.
I sat in the clinic and got a beer, and I wrote the names of Molly and Lily on my wrist because I thought it was genetic, and if I went to self harm, it was a reminder of how I felt when my mother wanted to take my life because I felt useless. "
Carey sympathizes with modern celebrities who are catapulted to glory-and then see their stars fade as quickly.
"What people love (Island Racers) Mike and Sophie are being thrown into the industry and then suddenly just abandoned after having had their 15-minute glory," said Kerry.
"But once you feel the taste of this glory – you're invited to all the best parties and people want to shoot all the time – and then everything stops suddenly.
"I think glory in itself is a drug for many people.
"If you have problems, you do not feel like you can run into your head without anything in your system. Even being real is a terrible thing.
"As they say," little Dutch courage "so you'll drink and then you can have a line of coke and then go one step too far.
"So many people are afraid to be their true nature because they are so lost in this fake reality of drugs and alcohol, they no longer know who they are.
"It is a terrible thought to stand before us in the mirror, not as a man you have become.
"I understand 100% why people who get so early and get into drugs want to take their lives, and it is definitely a major issue to start with, but it's such a bubble we live in."
This is a cycle that Kerry happily broke. And, incredibly, she even managed to forgive her mother.
"My mother was not stable and had a lot of mental health problems," said Carey, who was in foster care but was visiting her mom on weekends.
"Now I understand she used drugs like speed and cocaine, and also an alcoholic.
"We have to look at why people take cocaine – and give them the help they need before it's too late.
"There is always one main reason why they do it and why it escalates.
"I understand how incredibly difficult it is for people to get so many diplomats who want advice on cocaism, alcoholism and mental health.
"I'm not a professional, but I tell them you'll overcome it, because if I can turn it around, everyone can turn it around.
"If you have a problem, if you think it comes out of control, you turn around and talk to someone – nothing worth saving your life.
WHERE TO RECEIVE A HELP:
If you are worried about your mental health or mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local provider of mental health. However, if you or someone else is in danger or you are threatening others, immediately call the police at 111.
Or if you need to talk to someone else:
• DEPARTMENT PLAN: 0800 111 757
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 or 09 5222 999 in Auckland (24/7)
• WE NEED TO TALK? Free Call or Text 1737 (24/7)
• SAMARITANS – 0800 726 666
• Criticism of suicide: 0508 828 865 (24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (from 13:00 to 23:00)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
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