Jani Braikovichrevealed that he has struggled with eating disorders for many years since his sports career – bulimia, which he believes is a broader cycling problem. He said he was never just about weight because he was always thin and had no problems with it. But the disease seized him and he was completely in control because he did not know how to greet, where to go for help, as it was still a taboo subject.
So Braikovich learned to live with the disease and hoped it would be better sometime. And that was true, but only for a while, because every time she encountered an obstacle, she erupted completely. He was far from the only one to write as many people struggle with eating disorders when cycling.
Each team fights this disease or similar eating disorders
"In every team I have been a member of since the Continental, Pro-Continental or World series, I have had teammates who have also struggled with this disease or similar eating disorders. Among them were team captains of the" 3 biggest competitors. .he reported on his blog.
Usually, doctors do not notice these problems when you become, as Brekovic, a master of concealment, revealed. And even if team leaders notice you have problems, they usually ignore them, he writes. When the positive doping test comes, Braikovich is serving a 10-month doping conviction this June, entrusting his problems to the International Cycling Association (UCI).
"I was completely desperate"
"So I resorted to meal replacement because I could keep it to myself. Unfortunately, it also contained methylhexanamine, which was not listed on the declaration. There was no day during that period that I would not cry before sitting on my bike. I was completely desperate and everything was black. " wrote the Slovenian cyclist, adding that Uci had been promised the help of a medical ward but had not yet received it.
Brajkovic also writes that he has found help for himself, that he is doing well and has regained his confidence and love for himself. Because she believes that you are not a loser, if you take every time you fall, she wants to race again.
It is not time to say goodbye
"Cycling and I am inseparable. I know some time will come for the glory of the sport, but now that time has not yet come. I have run 26,000 miles since January and have been doing my best for the last seven years. Cycling has given me the freedom "wrote Braikovich, adding: "To be fair, I wanted to compete for the national team in the race in Slovenia, but I did not get a response from the responsible. I contacted all the teams in the race in Utah, I will still pay the costs for myself. This is not easy and I don't know if I will still be able to compete, but I will persist until the end. "
"This entry was not made to pity or get people's attention, but solely to point out this big problem with cycling. And it shouldn't be such a taboo subject. Someone who broke a bone and continued the race is celebrated. as a hero, another who has been struggling with mental illness, eating disorders, addiction for months or years … but is weak. That shouldn't be the case. I've revealed myself now and hope to help someone else. " concluded Braikovich.